Decisions

You know, there are sometimes I like to think and reflect on the decisions I make in my life. I know that it is something that I should not dwell on because it can distract me from the task at hand, however we do need to do some reflecting. There have been times that I have wondered what Big Ron would have been like without Christ in my life. It's a scary thought really. Because at this point in my life and for at least 6 years before now, Christ has driven me, the desires that I have had are ones that He has for my life. So I wonder what kind of nonchristian would I have been, or how would I make the decisions that I have had to make. These are tough questions to ask myself. Really I don't want to to think of me like that. I don't think I could be as optimistic as I am. I am not the blamer type...if I do something I take responsibility for it, I man up. Would I do that if I did not have Christ in my life? who knows.

I also wonder what path I should have taken in terms of college before USC. I am pretty sure that USC was not the initial plan that God had for me in the beginning. I chose that route because I wanted to see what the world had to offer. God knew however that I would be back, so he allowed me to see what the world had, and the route changed to get to my destination. There are many Christian Universities that I could have went to instead but, I believe that now God has me where I need to be at. Now with that being said when I recognized that this is where God has called me for this season of my life He put a vision in my heart. Really He birthed in me this thing that I am supposed to do here. Let's just say that there has been some major praying about this, but right now it is like fire shut up in my bones...It is a great feeling by the way. I have always heard how God will give you a vision if you are willing to accept it, but now I actually know how it feels. I have been burdened by something God wants me to do in service to him. When I dedicated my life to God, I said that I would be willing to do what is necessary, I will obey the call that he has for my life. I have been doing that, I attended and completed pledge and I am now involved in PKP a frat that God led me too. There is something that I am supposed to do within it, although I do now know just yet, I do know that this is a group of men of God that I belong with. I have faith that the direction will be given to me when God feels it is time to reveal it. So I urge you, follow the call of God!

Love you guys,

Big Ron

You can't do it all on your own

So, out of all the things I have learned from pledge; trust me there has been so many already, the biggest thing is I have learned that I can't do everything by myself. If you know me then you know that I have had a problem with trusting people to help me with different things. I will be honest this comes mainly from me having the fear of yet another person letting me down. So I developed this habit of doing things all on my own. It seemed like it was much easier that way. But I know that God has made it apparent to me through pledge that this is something that has to be dealt with if I am going to truly move in Him. I am going to be starting a prayer group sometime soon. God has instilled in me a vision for it, but he has called me not to be the sole head of the group but to find others and minister into them, and allow them to minister into me, so together we can lead this group. God has had to help me build confidence in others, and to be willing to share responsibilities with others. I can honestly say that deciding to pledge, had showed me things that I need to deal with that otherwise I may have ignored if not through the experience. Whether or not I get in is yet to be determined, but even if I do not make it i am still thankful for the exp I have gained from the process.

Love you guys,

Big Ron

When You Feel Empty

I have been going through one of those dry seasons as of late. This one has been feeling like it has been going on forever now though. I have heard it put though that sometimes God allows us to enter into a dry season to test us. To see if we can truly use the gifts that He has given us, and too see if we are ready for the task to come. Maybe this one has been extra long/tough because the next step in going to the next level in my relationship with God is going to be an extreme experience. During this period it has seemed like I have been giving and feeding into people, but I myself have not been fed into like I should have been. It all catches up with you sooner or later, and the challenge I have as such a strong willed person as allowing someone to feed into me. Yes I spend time with God like I should, not as much as I should, but I do get some "God" time. I am always on the go, hardly anytime for rest. I get tired after a while. I have been feeling kinda empty lately. I am pretty sure that I know where that is from, so one of my goals for the week is to change that. Friday Fire was amazing this week! It really helped push me out of some of the dry feelings that I have been experiencing, and it was also a great refresher. I need to worship God a whole lot more than I currently do. This was revealed to me on Friday night. I also really need to get back into writing poetry, I miss it so much it is crazy actually. Well that will be all for now.

Love you guys,

Big Ron